Cordon bleu. Gh

Cooking. Provision of vittles for one’s offspring and its’ sire. Or filling one’s own trough, thereby fulfilling the desire to insert one’s trotters and eat. Lots. away from the cod-regal one-ity.

It is most, most important to be able to apply ingredients (raw) to source of heat to achieve nutrition without enteritis. The notable exception being lettuce, where heat application = slime worthy of the most horrid sinusitis. Grooh.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Philosophy is also splendid. I can spellit but that is about all. I can cut and paste Nietzche, too. My magnificent octopus was a Chocolate Cake. Not for the joy of producing a lovely cake, but in competition with the New-ish, potential -Mother-out-law. She had 30 years of pearl-encrusted cake-creation, so should have been a cake-walk in the park. So I thought. Hubris is a Good Word.

hu·bris

/ˈ(h)yo͞obris/
Noun
  1. Excessive pride or self-confidence.
  2. (in Greek tragedy) Excessive pride toward or defiance of the gods, leading to nemesis.
Synonyms
arrogance – hauteur – haughtiness – pride – insolence

this is also Wiki, notme.

It was the 1990s, so, armed with my trusty 1980s Delia book I sallied forth into Sainscos in Edinburgh and collected a new recipe card for a new and (personally) untested cake of chocolate. It was very prescriptive (is this correct? Castor oil+orange juice+ bicarbonate of soda= greatbigpooh) and listed, very clearly and sternly:

1. ingredients

2. Equipment

3. Method

A wee bit like my DomiSci teacher. She was stern. But absent in ’90s Ed.

I followed the protocol, slavishly until the bit where the “key ingredient” was listed. It was rather a pity that Sainscos (Ed) had been mobbed by eager women keen to impress their men/guests/rellies with their Choc.Cake. they were also less tardy than I. So all the key ingredient was gone. Ever adaptable, I made a substitution and marched steadily onward. Stuff bought (tick) cake made (tick) and rested on wire rack (tick) for the requisite time (small insect which lives in Scottish heather and grass and bites and can provide nasty disease). It was NOT a success. Not At All. J – raised on mother’s CC manfully ate it, swallowed and pronounced “mm, interesting”

And the relevance of the substituted ingredient?

The substituted ingredient was “mayonnaise”

Delia’s was without

Garlic. Moop. 😦

Advertisements

One thought on “Cordon bleu. Gh

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s